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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

let me be...

how does one become a good wife?
i have been pondering that question for sometime now and i am no closer to the answer than i did before. i do know, that the husband has a lot to say on the matter.

There are traditional wife roles that i can emulate even though times have change. I can look to my mother or mother-in-law for inspiration.They are probably good wives because their seems tobe no complaints from their husbands. But that would means pleasing my fathers. Not a bad thing altogether, but a start i suppose. SO wives has only one resource person left whose answer really matters, the husbands.

So tell me. tell me what you want me to be. Tell me so that i can try doing those roles you expect from me. So that when i have tried and failed, at least i know where i failed and not left wondering where i have failed.

We're only together rarely. But i want those rare occasions to be a celebration of what made us decide to choose each other as life partners. An occasion to be a family first, for me to be a wife and you a husband. We can't be that if we're harboring resentments and anger. Well, maybe an occasion also to settle issues or at least to find a solution that we both can live with. To be a joyful reunion since our work dictates us to live apart. To value togetherness because it's a rare commodity for us, at least for now.

let me ...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Between the devil and the deep blue sea

Between the devil and the deep blue sea..

Sometimes life puts you in situations where you have to chose between the devil and the deep blue sea. like holding on and letting go. when holding on is costing you so much, like your hanging by your hands on a knife and every second that you hold on is cutting you up. and then you can chose to let go, when letting go means your falling onto the ocean when you don't know how to swim.

and then God's grace is made manifest by the overwhelming peace that comes to you in moments of surrender to His Will. A minute at a time. That's all i have to do. It is easy to forget God when i'm deep in my sorrows. But His answer has always been to take things a minute at a time. It's and age-old truth, ancient wisdom that i often forget. Whatever problem i may have, i will get by a minute at a time.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Narcisa Tagab Gamad (1918-2008)


my earliest memories of bohol wouldn't be complete without iya sisa. she was my father's father's sister. because she was unmarried, she lived in the ancestral house fronting the tennis court. back in those days, the tennis court was the center of taug's activities. often, when there's a local dance or baile, we would sit by the window and listen to the gossip that normally accompany such events. occasionally, iya sisa contributes her own. not that i take it against her. living in the barrio, it is a given, that every body else's life is somebody else's business.

i remember she has strong opinion about how young women should dress, about infidelity, about getting pregnant outside of marriage, about irresponsible young men and not-so-young men. to her, black is black and white is white, there's never a gray area in between. she might be labeled today as judgmental but she was a woman with principle to me. she raised as her own the offspring of her sister who got pregnant outside of marriage. that may seem quite ordinary but she has no income of her own, so in a word difficult. some people just give up when faced by difficulty, she persevered. she was moody, saputon in other words, which seems to be the trademark sa mga gamad(at least sa among side sa family tree). irritating at times centainly, but understandable. she lived a very simple life. but she was loved.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Exotic pleasures

I am using Exotic Pleasures by Estee Lauder now. I didn't like it the first time i sprayed it on. Not sure why, but over the course of several days and moderation(a single spray near my belly) i think i'm beginning to like its scent. I guess, it's probably one of those things which you could get accustome to in time.

It's scent is tropical with its sparkling blend of exotic fruits and flowers.It's suppose to be a seductive fusion of Mango Passion Fruit Cocktail, juicy Citrus Fruits and watery Lychee combined with Island Bamboo Flowers, Orange blossom and dewy Bougainvillea Vine. I'm not sure though if the scent is enough to seduce someone. he he

I knew that the sense of smell is called olfaction. What i did not know, until now is that the part of the brain that interprets fragrance is the same part that experiences creative arts and emotional responses and memory. I'm just wondering though how preference for certain smells, gives one an insight into the creativity, emotional responses and memory of another. or of oneself.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Happy birthday Papa Pido

Today is papa pido's birthday.68th, in fact.

It's also prophet Mohammed's birthday so it's holiday over the armm region.
To be different, i bought a rocky road cake from purple plate and birthday candles.
I didn't feel like buying a traditional birthday cake consisting mostly of icing.
So there...

Jorie called to greet papa at the same time she delivered the sad news that Iya Sisa
has not been eating for two days now and is unable to get out of bed. The elders said she might be
in the nineties or hundreds already. Sad really but what else can one do? ...Prayers helps all the time

I'm gloomy again. I shouldn't. I have a lot to be thankful for. It's just that i get affected easily.
I think perhaps it is in my genes. Lola bene, they said sufferred nervous breakdown. Papa, apparently
also suffered from anxiety because he was prescribed valium before or it might have been related to
his heart. But i don't want to dwell on it. But it is reality for me that there are days when i just feel so
down and out. But God, in all His Goodness, is helping me overcome those moments.

We are blessed. That is enough to put smile in our hearts.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Just breath...

When everything around you seems unbearable, just breath.
This is also the lyrics to a song by Anna Nalick.

"Breathe (2 AM)"

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dress Code

I got this from the manila cathedral website not too long ago. And i agree. I think it is only but proper that we observe a dress code when we go to church. It shouldn't be an imposition but rather we disseminate it as a guide.

Some would say that what we wear won't matter to God. Probably. But it does matter to certain churchgoers. Wearing eye catching apparels like shorts and tank tops that shows more skin rather than hide it , makes other's pass judgment on you even if they don't want to. Sometimes, it's all in the subconscious. We sin some more because of external stimuli outside of the church but we should try to make the internal environment of the church free from distractions.

Our clothes need not be new, just clean and modest. But for those who doesn't even have nowhere to sleep,barely able to buy food for their stomach and goes to church in the clothes that they slept in last night, that's ok i guess. So long as we do make the effort to worship. I think.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Confession of a shopaholic

Confession of a shopaholic

Yesterday I bought the Philip stein mother of pearl watch with a white dial, a Maybelline ultra-rich moisture lipstick in crimson red, a 50ml Clinique happy heart perfume …in my dreams. Ha ha

Even if I want to, I couldn’t afford it..not yet anyway. If I want something for myself, I have to save for it. Everything changes when you’re already married. Suddenly, your husband and your kids needs become more important. I’m not saying, I stopped giving importance to myself anymore. Far from that, it’s just that some things are really just luxuries.

Anyway, the reason I’m hooked on that watch is because that watch is teslar. Teslar Watches were named in honor of Nikola Tesla by inventor Andrija Puharich. In the late 1970’s, Puharich was researching the harmful effects of ELF (Extremely Low Frequency) waves on the body. He developed a Teslar chip which was installed in watches that you wear in order to protect people wherever they went.

The Teslar Chip with Teslar Technology was designed to emit a unique 7 to 9 Hz Alpha wave signal that interacts with and strengthens your body’s own electromagnetic energy field. Similar to the Earth’s natural 7.8 Hz Schumann Resonance signal and the Alpha wave signals emitted by the brain when you are calm, meditating, or doing yoga, or when athletes are in states of high performance, this Teslar Scalar signal also helps reinforce your energy field against the possible negative effects of external, low-energy electromagnetic fields (EMF).

The Schumann Resonance was first used for healing by Dr. Ludwig in Germany, who is known as the Father of Magnetic Therapy. Dr. Ludwig convinced NASA to install Schumann Resonance devices on spacecraft to have a stabilizing effect on the astronaut’s health in space.

Much like listening to a clear radio broadcast free from static, the Teslar Chip helps your energy field filter out annoying and potentially harmful electromagnetic ‘static’ such that your body can stay closer to its peak performance, both physically and mentally.

Based on the work of Nikola Tesla, and named after him ... these watches re-introduce nature's healing frequency to your body. This technology is an active, not passive, approach to EMF protection ... because the chip oscillates at the Schumann frequency. And for further validation, the NASA uses this technology to help astronauts to feel more comfortable in space.

Studies suggest electric fields have increased substantially in the last 20 years due to cell phones, computers, fluorescent lighting, etc. Research shows this negatively impacts our immune system.

Now, using that same advanced technology, a way has been found to locally neutralize the devitalizing electronic pollution in the environment. (source: tools for

Well, if you can be both chic and less stressed out, why not?