Yesterday, a friend of hubby told me that she doesn't mind if her husband goes home late at night or if he doesn't go home. She doesn't ask any questions even if her husband do something out of his daily routine. So i asked her if it's okay with her that her husband just come and goes without telling her, just like a doormat? And she said yes. It's because she doesn't really give 100% of herself to him, she withholds a bit for herself an insurance because you don't really know what's going to happen in the future. Less pain that way.
How is it possible to love someone and not give 100% of yourself? Maybe by slowly telling yourself that you no longer love the person?
Maybe it is possible to shift the focus. Instead of loving him a 100%, love your children 125%, the other 25% you keep to yourself living him only 50%. Does it make sense?