Of heartaches and chestpains

I am bothered again by the chestpains that i felt. I started feeling it yesterday. I guess it was prompted by yesterday's anger. The day before it was sadness over a casual remark by somebody. I never did like being the target of a green joke. It's harrassment. But of course, I can't say anything about it. I have mouths to feed. Yup, welcome to the real world. I have also been unmindful of what i eat. I have been eating pizza for the last few days courtesy of officemates' gain on the stockmarket. And i gained weight, and getting to lazy to exercise.

No matter, it's actually an improvement of sort. Back home, it's like a weekly occurence. Sometimes, i think it is triggered by anxiety. I am always conscious of my heartrate, the need to exercise, and being too picky with what i eat. Since living here in the big city, i don't put too much stock on everything anymore. I figured, if your life stops there, there's probably nothing much that anyone can do. And so , i have more peaceful thoughts. I am also pre-occupied with other things and so i have less time thinking about my situations.

I guess, i need another vacation now. In truth, I will be going back home. Visiting my family, attending a wedding, so i will just concentrate in having fun. Yup, i need to concentrate to have fun. That's how mental my problem is. I can't help but think about it in my alone time. But i have so much to be thankful for. And everytime, i'm just so down, i think of them(my kids) and everything just keeps getting brighter. Did i mention, praying helps?

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Sometimes life puts you in situations where you have to chose between the devil and the deep blue sea. like holding on and letting go.  when holding on is costing you so much, like your hanging by your hands on a knife and every second that you hold on is cutting you up. and then you can chose to let go, when letting go means your falling onto the ocean  when you don’t know how to swim.

And then God’s grace is made manifest by the overwhelming peace that comes to you in moments of surrender to His Will. A minute at a time. That’s all i have to do. It is easy to forget God when i’m deep in my sorrows. But His answer has always been to take things a minute at a time. It’s and age-old truth, ancient wisdom that i often forget. Whatever problem i may have, i will get by a minute at a time.

The rest is still unwritten

If there's a song to remind me to be spontaneous, to embrace every moment of every day as very precious this would be Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. Somehow as we grow older, we learn to be cautious to protect ourselves from hurt. Nothing wrong with being cautious and having plans, but sometimes, i feel like i really need to take a detour and smell the roses and just be nicely surprised. So enjoy,folks

Between consenting adults

Since katrina Halili started out in startruck, i've been her fan already. She has such a lovely face. When Hayden joined celebrity duet, I was also a fan. After the sex video, I still like katrina halili. After all, sex is a normal part of life between two consenting adults. If taking a video, while performing the act makes it more enjoyable to the couple why not? MArried couples does it. Making a sex video is not necessarily evil. It's just an aid, a tool to enhance sexual fulfillment.

But if i am somebody close to Katrina, I would have told her that sleeping with somebody else's boyfriend is disrespectful of another woman. And to think that, she was a Belo endorser. It seemed like stabbing the person in the back, and that person is the one giving you food to eat.So how could she have done it? Or for that matter, how could another woman sleep with another woman's man? It's a question as old as sex itself.

If we are just animals who are ruled by our sexual urges, then having sex with anybody who attracts us is just fine. But we are not, we have brains which allows us to think if what we are doing is right or wrong , and chose accordingly. We need to develop healthy respect for each other. And we can only do that if the society we are reared in promotes the family and moral values respectful of each other's rights and feelings.

Vicky belo is better off without hayden kho. Hayden should have been more careful with the videos. If his license gets suspended because of it, he deserves to learn some lessons from it. He shouldn't get away just because he will make a public apology.

As for senator Bong Revilla, oh please, how can you lecture about respect for women? Ughh..

As a wife, i have only disppointment for katrina and disgust for hayden.
As a mother, i have only compassion for her and tell katrina that all these things will pass, and she will survive it.

AJ at JRU

I enrolled Aj at Jose Rizal University. The tuition for kinder is around 17k annually. I paid 4.5k upon enrolment and will pay around 1.8k monthly. Not bad, when i was in Iligan, I paid roughly the same amount for nursery 2. I'm not sure though if the education is as good as living spring academy. I have yet to find out.

Back in april, when we went to Calamba for the weekend, we visited Jose Rizal's ancestral house. I marveled at how big his house was and how his status was not able to prevent his fate at the hands of spaniards. It was a sobering thought for a while.

Life in the city

Now, i know how expensive it is to leave in a big city. I found a low-rise condo to my taste but the 2-bedroom is just too expensive, it would mean a negative income of 5k per month which would have been my savings if i chose to continue living in Iligan. There's a studio type which would have been just right for my income without extra for savings. There's also a two-bedroom which i like except that i'm having second thoughts about the community.

The ideal situation for me would have been to have a little left set aside as savings.

I thank God for giving me friends who are helping me and at the same time, teaching me to be a a little bit stronger. Really, i guess when you don't have your family with you, good friends are good substitute.Normally, your other-half would have been your partner through thick and thin but in his absence...

I like my job and the people i work with. If only, the salary is enough for us to live comfortably as we do in the province. I don't want to seek other employment in place of my current one. If only, i can have a job on the side...

I've been searching on-line. Paid-to-click sites are ok but unless you have lots of referrals, it doesn't amount to much. I am looking into writing content for websites or research jobs but until they finally give me the job, i'll keep on searching.

Your wondering why i'm talking like i'm a single mom. I feel like i'm a single mom...All the responsibilities of parenthood on my shoulder. I guess it is always good to be self-sufficient financially and all. And God is helping me so...

Proactivity starts today

I'm not sure what made me do it. I was busy working but was also getting sleepy. I have eaten 2 krispy kreme doughnuts, ughh... When i went down to sit infront of my nettop, i just felt like googling "expanding circle of influence". I clicked on the link to a very simple explanation of the phrase.

Expanding your Circle of Influence
Making and Keeping Commitments

Reading the above article, I realized i have been too complaining about him. Even if i have reason to, i should have been more proactive. Indeed, I should concentrate on the things i have control over not on the things i don't. I should always be conscious of my responses. Yes, I guess i'm gonna try on shrinking my circle of concern and try expanding my circle of influence. Yes, I'm going to do that , by God's Grace, starting now on the things and situations given to me. And I guess, my recent decision to relocate here in the big city despite of the uncertainty , is in a way being proactive. I am veering away from my comfort zone and doing the things i have been afraid of for sometime. I know there are no guarantees. And just by deciding on this particular path , i have set major things in motion. Fear is present, but it's better than being paralyzed by inaction.

Nasugbo, Batangas

Nasugbo, Batangas
He has been promising to take the kids to swimming at the condo pool on the 32nd floor. Since friday was a holiday, finally he was able to make good on his promise, and so they all troop up to the pool only to find out that it's not available for use because the water is undergoing treatment. So he told us to pack things up because we were going swimming to Batangas.
At first, he asked me of the resort i've read in the paper, i think it was Costa del fuego or something but i don't remember it anymore so again, he was the one who decided what road to take. We took the skyway and entered through sta rosa. laguna and then onwards to tagaytay, and finally to nasugbo. We found out that Nasugbo is actually hilly and most of the beach there are of the cove type. We also found out, that most of the beaches in Nasugbo have become elitist, mostly by membership only. The one private beach that allows the public to use it is the one owned by enrile. The other one opened to the public is the munting buhangin beach camp. While the facilities are good, i think that the entrance and the gazebo rates are too expensive for the masses. IT is probably intended for the upper middle class and those who have money to spare once in a long while.
Surprisingly, the water was cold and clear and calm considering that a tropical depression is spotted entering the bicol region and one just leaving. I like that beach. He spent about 4k for that trip to Batangas. It is expensive living here in manila. And even more expensive to go out-of-town.

Breast Clinic

Last wednesday, i had an appointment at makati medical center's Breast Clinic for a repeat sonomammogram. I have been doing it for every 6 months since may 2007 due to the presence of cysts in both of my breast. Back in my college days, I have been operated on my right breast.
Back in october of last year, the breast clinic of makati med was yet on the 5/f of the old building. The interior was decorated with flowery wallpapers in pink. Now it's on the 2nd floor of the new annex building. All of the staff were polite and generally makes you feel comfortable. Extra effort is always needed to make one comfortable if one is to bare one's breast for various medical examinations. Breast clinic provides that kind of service.
They also have the latest equipment in breast care and the professionals to complement it. Their services includes:

Citiland

Citiland-Shaw Tower has been a home for me in the many occasions that i have been here in manila. My stays were always short about a week or so. This summer has been the longest because i rented a fully-furnished studio-type unit for two months. The monthly rent is 14k exclusive of association dues, water and electricity. Water is about P800 while electricity is about P4,000. We cook our food and wash our clothes except for the heavy stuff which we bring to the laundry service at the ground floor.

I usually buy fish at Edsa Central Wet Market. I do my groceries at SM Megamall or at Shangrila's Rustans. Everything is just walking distance, my office, the malls, St. Francis Church is just across the street.

The only thing about studio type is the lack of privacy. But hey, if you want to leave within your means and still live comfortably, i'll take the studio type anytime.

The unit is owned by Marivic. She owns at least 3 other units which i know of. She is also one beautiful and classy lady,a bit bitchy probably but i think deep down she's also kind. I want to be like her when i grow up. ha ha

certified oDesk expert

I am seriously looking for a stay-at-home job that will help me pay my bills. I have recently signed up with oDesk and they have certain test that you have to pass for you to be considered a serious service provider. I took and passed some. ha ha

Win a shu eumura make up brush set

Once in a while you get to encounter a site that you can't help but keep on going back to. I have found such a site not only because of the freebies( which is one sure blogger-drawers!) but she also has a nice interface, clean and refreshing . The site is http://beautyforaliving.blogspot.com/2009/05/win-mika-heart-shu-makeup-brush-set.html and she is giving away a shu eumura make-up brushes and a host of other beauty items.

all you have to do is:

1. Write about the contest in your blog.
2. Make sure to link your post to her post.
3. Leave a comment informing her of your post.
4. She'll announce the winner on May 7!

free kids camp and cheap back massage

I have been feeling a lot of stress these past several days. I can actually feel it in my neck, back,feet and fingers. TOday, together with my daughters, yaya and sister, we took a jeepney ride to Pasig market and back looking out for a suitable apartment with a nearby school and only 1 ride to my workplace. We went out of the condo around past 11 am and so it was hot, and dusty even with our umbrellas in tow. We couldn't decide where to get off and my sister suggested maybe we should just take a look at those in mabini where she has a boardinghouse. And so we alight at shangrila mall, and at the 5th level, we took tickets for the mrt towards edsa station, get off and took the lrt again towards taft. Let me tell you though, that a man gave up his seat for me upon seeing that i was carrying abby. Not only that, another man also stood up to give us some more room for yaya to seat. And an old man stood up to give his seat to a girl. Yes, there are lots of gentlemen around and it's not true that they are a dying breed.
We had a late lunch at Mc donalds, taft then took a hike towards robinson's ermita entering by way of Pedro Gil wing. We spent so much time at the kids camp sponsored by purefoods chicken nuggets, growee, jelly ace and the madagascar movie. Everybody just keep on going to the purefoods booth if the tray for the free chicken nuggets have been refilled. There were lots of chicken nuggets free , sandwiches, coloring papers and water colors for kids and kids-at heart. There were penguin mascots on the stage to entertain one and all. Since aj felt urinating, we went to the 2nd floor where the foodcourt was and it was there that we saw Mendea ad about back massage for P20 for 10 minutes. Since we were just sitting there and it's only 10 minutes anyway and we can spare 20 pesos, why not give it a try. I am telling you, those by far, are the most relaxing 10 minutes and for 20 pesos. The attendant knew the muscles to knead and the points to push. If only they have that for feet and hands. They would probably , if you tell them. So if you ever get the chance to go to RObinson's ermita, check out Mendez' 10-minute back massage, i'm sure you will really like it. maybe, they offer it in their other branches, i sure hope so.

a strand of white hair

A sobering moment, i tell you, to find you already have white hairs. The first thought that came to me was that some of the hair cells are dying and are not being replaced anymore that's why it turned white. Not very scientific, i know. I'll be sure to google it why hairs turned white.

According to yahoo answers , The root of every strand of hair is surrounded by a tube of tissue under the skin that is called the hair follicle (say: fah-lih-kul). Each hair follicle contains a certain number of pigment cells. These pigment cells continuously produce a chemical called melanin (say: meh-luh-nin) that gives the growing shaft of hair its color of brown, blonde, red, and anything in between.Melanin is the same stuff that makes our skin's color fair or darker. It also helps determine whether a person will burn or tan in the sun. The dark or light color of someone's hair depends on how much melanin each hair contains.As we get older, the pigment cells in our hair follicles gradually die. When there are fewer pigment cells in a hair follicle, that strand of hair will no longer contain as much melanin and will become a more transparent color - like gray, silver, or white - as it grows. As people continue to get older, fewer pigment cells will be around to produce melanin. Eventually, the hair will look completely gray.

The next thing on my mind was if the beautiful superstars who are in my age range like gretchen barreto, demi moore, etc also has it and what was their initial thought.
Although it smacks of being vain, i don't think anyone could ever deny that looking young and feeling young is something that one could not get enough of. Youth promises so much...fulfillment of dreams, action, vitality, it seems everything is just there ready for the taking. Middle age, though still offers so much possibilities, feels like time has already passed for some of the things you would have wanted to do. Sometimes, it feels foolish to do youthful things anymore. Not that, i would ever laugh on anyone who would try to do "foolish things". And then, old age, just seem like full of reflection time of things of the past. I really don't mean all of these things. I'm sure there are lots of wise old people who still do a lot of youthful things and what's more important, possesses the energy and enthusiasm of youth. I am just blabbering..