A simple love letter

Let me share with you a love letter i receive from my 6 years old Alyssa:

I put this inside my wallet.  If you must know, my children speaks fluent Cebuano. Since relocating here, they have been learning to speak Tagalog although they still retain the accent that identifies most Bisaya.  But whatever language they may want to write to me, I feel the love.  And did i tell you, she writes to me almost everyday? I have a folder at home intended for letters and cards such as these.  Even Abby scribbles unintelligently, colors it and gives it to me.

Alyssa like most girls, watches disney's fairytales. And so she wants me to be a Queen loved by her King. In her young heart, she knows that happiness at its core really means knowing you are loved.  And I know that I am loved. And I am happy.

10 that makes me happy..

I feel crappy today. My eyes are swollen from crying. Other than that, i think i look great.  I mean, there are others more beautiful than me and people may not even see me as beautiful. In fact to a certain someone, I am the ugliest woman he had ever had relationship with.  I've been told too many times by two people that i am not beautiful. Even i don't think of myself as beautiful, not even pretty.  But for the sake of being positive and healthy and successful, I need to have confidence in myself.  If i don't do that, I will spiral down to depression.

Right now, I am gonna think happy thoughts. I am gonna push myself to be the most sunshiny person, think the most happy thoughts because crying is not so me.  I am done crying.  I am done grieving over my loss.  I am done trying to fix my relationship with someone because it is not healthy to be in a one-sided relationship.  It is not good for me or for my children to be cowered over by someone and be labeled so many things just because he never did love me.  I am done loving that person.

So I am listing my top ten things that makes me happy, and do these things over and over again until i finally get it right:

1.   Cuddling with my children
2.   Having lots of money( Seriously, as in the 450M  lotto price)
3.   Looking good
4.   Feeling sexy
5.   Reading
6.   Going to the beach more often
7.   Being a self-confident person
8.   Being with someone who values me
9.   Doing a job well done
10. Having a job that pays well and allows me to be with my children most of the time.

Joy

This was taken about 2 years ago, i think. Sometimes you miss those times when you still could cuddle them and not feel their weight. That's why every parent should not miss these growing up years. By the way, i am infanticipating. he he he. Is that a word?