And Suddenly it Hits Me

I was driving the other day (Rizal Day), towards home when i was suddenly overcome by so much gratefullness that i was born to my parents.  So much so that i would have tweeted about it just to let my feelings out but opted to hold it in and pour those feelings in a blog.  My  parents were born poor, not poorest of the poor but still poor.  However, they were able to send all three of us to school, gave us everything that we needed and as parents, i can say that they are successful in this endeavor.

Had they been lazy or had they been problematic individuals, i would probably be living a different life.  I think of all those kids on the streets of Connecticut in Greenhills or those in other places in Manila selling sampaguita without slippers on and sometimes carrying a much younger sibling and i get depressed.  I have no way of helping them in such a way that it will change their life for the better and the government who is in a position to help has no comprehensive plan to get women and children off the streets. And so like most, i move on and forget about them until i am reminded again the next time i see them.  

So much of what I am now, i owe to my parents who diligently and tirelessly struggle to provide for me and my sisters, educated us and continually guiding us unobtrusively now that we are adults. I hope my children will feel the same way to me and to my husband when they are also adults.  I pray God will help us become better parents.  I also pray for more years to us and to our parents.

Our Little Prince

"And we'll never be royals..." So says the song from Lorde, still i'll call the latest addition to our family a prince, our baby boy Amir.  

Looking back, on the nine-month journey there were certainly struggles, painful ones at that.  My previous three pregnancies saw me battling urinary and upper tract infections but this one with Amir really brought to my conciousness that one has got to be healthy when pregnant.  My baby has pneumonia about 24 hours after birth.  I thanked God all the time for the both of us during pregnancy and delivery and every moment of our lives.  I am especially thankful for having chosen as his pediatrician, Dr. Cory Avanceña who is a pediatric pulmonologist. She was able to detect his high respiration rate and immediately ordered a chest x-ray and a host of other tests, along with transferring him to the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit for close monitoring.  I am also thankful that i have chosen Dr. Nora Figueroa-Santos as my Ob-gyn for helping me all through out the birthing process as well as the resident doctors and nurses present during my delivery.

That day, i was only supposed to have a repeat urinalysis because of a prior urinary tract infection.  Having done that, i was debating whether i should go see dr. Nora since my regular check up was still the next day but my sister Ching suggested I might as well have an internal examination just to check how far along i am into my pregnancy.  True enough,  i was already 4 cm dilated and dr. Nora said that i should already need to have my self admitted since the baby could come out anytime now.  My problem was that, i parked along Amorsolo st. which only has a 3-hours parking limit and in excess of that your car will be towed so i asked her if i could just return the car and just take a taxi back.  It's a good thing that dr. Nora has the presence of mind to suggest valet parking and i should just ask the guard to prioritize me since i could give birth anytime soon which thankfully the valet services acceded to.

Before admission, i had a light lunch of half grilled cheese sandwich even though i was already told by my ob gyn that i should refrain from eating anymore if and when it's clear that i was ready to give birth.  I was really hungry at that time and i thought what harm could it do right?  Apparently, the reason was somewhat related to the movement of food inside the intestine or whatever and instead the food could go to where it's not wanted like the lungs.  The admitting nurse explained it to me which made me even more afraid.  Since i've learned of my pregnancy,  i have been afraid of the anesthesia part.  When i give birth to Maggie back in 2010, i was also administered an epidural anesthesia.  I was really shaking, really uncontrollable chills all over my body even my head was shaking.  All the time, i was thinking that it was an allergic reaction to the anesthesia.  I scoured the net for information about chiills resulting from anesthesia and i was not comforted at all with my research.  What calmed me eventually was surrender to God.  I am already pregnant what more could i do?  It's false to think that just because I am not pregnant, nothing untoward could happen to me.  I got pregnant knowing i have a heart condition and that my uric acid and cholesterol levels were high.  Add on top of that is the fact that i am already 42, classified by medical practitioners as belonging to the high risk category.  I am not athletic, i lead a sedentary lifestyle although i walk for long distances going to and from work but it's hardly enough to be called exercise. I was not at all fit physically.  

So, i decided to lift it all up to God.  The Almighty must have a reason for this pregnancy, i might have been apprehensive of that during the early days of my pregnancy but seeing Amir for the first time really filled me with such joy i can't remember anymore why i was afraid.  Whatever will be will be, that was my attitude after acceptance of the fact that anything could happen but i prayed to God deeply for my self and for my baby.  Day to day, i find i possess calmness , strength  and bravery to deal with every circumstances in my life during my pregnancy.  My daughters and i continued to pray the Novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help.  In the early days, I also prayed to Our Mother and Padre Pio to intercede for me to God to grant us a baby boy.  So i am saying that prayer helps in everything and every circumstances.  

Back to our little prince, we named him Amir Alfred.  This is him a few hours after birth. He weighed 8.5   lbs, the biggest of all my babies.  

Eventhough he is still in the hospital as of this writing, and eventhough other members of the family can only view him from the other side of the window, we don't get tired ogling him even if it's only for a few hours.  

And his elder sisters are also excited to be with him already, as we all are.  Please God, heal Amir completely so we can take him home already. This is our prayer. Amen.

P.S.

We were able to take Amir home the rainy night of August 16th, 2014 around 10 pm. My heart is filled with so much gratefulness to The Almighty.  I always find it to be always true that everything is easier

because of family, my parents' and sisters' presence were a comfort to me knowing  my girls are taken cared of and me also.  And even though the husband was away when i gave birth, i  still find comfort in his absence knowing there is someone who will pay our bills. :))

If I Win the Lotto

 A girl can dream and this girl has her share of improbable dreams.

First of, i will pay all our debts. (7m)

Then, i will renovate our house to make it less energy consuming and more airy so that we won't rack up huge power bills for the upkeep.(10m)

I'll set aside trust fund for my children.(20m)

I'll also set aside a scholar fund for other children i intend to send to school.  I've already identified them but not here.(10m)

I will buy a land and donate it to the church so that we will have a bigger church here in Rizal and appropriate parking. (30m)

I will give my sisters seed money to put up their businessess.(5m)

I will bring my family and my in-laws to a Pilgrimage in Rome and the Holy Land in Israel.(25m)

 

And i will set up my trading business, so that i won't be stuck in an 8-hours job and will have time for my children and other worthwhile pursuits.

God willing, this is what i will do.

Infanticipating...

Yup...at 42 years old, moi is expecting my fourth child and he's a boy! 

I'd say that i am generally grateful and happy but back when i just found out i must admit i was really apprehensive...fearful even.  I'd rather not go into the details, but it's awesome to be expecting another baby.  God knows my needs even when i don't say it and He listens to prayers so that calms me down and gives me peace of mind. 

Let's do Sports

The kids participated in the sportsfest prior to the end of the school year. And while individually they didn't win any medal, i am happy that they were very active in participating often volunteering when others are too shy to do so. I am particularly amazed at how competitive Aj is when it comes to games.  Abby shows the same competitiveness but somehow loses interest when she does not win. I tell her that there will be times when she wins and at other time she will lose but it doesn't really matter.   What matters most is the experience that she got from it which will teach her more about living and coping with life.  I doubt that they understand what i was saying, at this time.  Anyway, i think sports is one of the best things to get the kids involved with, to learn and develop confidence.  On that note, here are some photos from the 3-day event which we attended without fail.

The Feared One Is No More

She's resigning.  The reason is that she's concentrating on her growing children.  Conjectures abound,  one of which is the fact that a labor union was in place when before there was none.  Oh well, that is what life is all about - lessons. She'll probably be a better person for it.