Of Painful Legs and Other Concerns

I've never been the sporty type. Truth of the matter is, my wii fitness age just goes back to 80 from a hight of 78. I'm thinking this because I Have so many aches and you could even say that my favorite nighttime lotion was efficascent oil. Yup, that's true until I read an article about mythel salicylate being poisonous and therefor harmful over time especially when applied all over the body and with cover. So now, as much as I can endure, I don't use it anymore.

Can't sleep. I don't know why. I mean, i've never really been a sleeper. The most number of hours that i have nowadays straight is 3. I used to be able to sleep soundly for 5 houts when the husband was around. Guess, too much on my mind. And i did nap late this afternoon. It didn't help that my right leg is bothering me again. It feels so good to stretch my legs and massage it. And I am also bothered by the fact that i feel this involuntary muscle twitch everywhere in my arms and legs. What is happening to me?

At any rate, I am still thankful to God despite all these concerns. I just have to yack about it, let it out of my system. After all, there is really so much to be thankful about. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Why So Many Worries You Of Little Faith?

Woke up again around 4pm. Actually, it felt like I have been awake for a while now since my head have been thinking worry thoughts and i have been hearing A particular noise like a grinding if bones in my left ear. I worry about the littlest of things even the sound of breathing. I get thoughts like, is this asthma already? Or something worse. I don't like to entertain those thoughts, mind you. People say the longer your worry list, the smaller your God. I hope not. I would like to believe that my faith in God is bigger except that there are times when I get swamped by worries. Believe, i don't want to be like this at all.

So please forgive me my God in moments like these and comfort me.

Mrs. Kutcher No More

Latest addition to the un-coupling block. Sad. Really. Just when i thought there's a good chance that a 49 yr old woman and an early 30s man might go the distance.

Nothing breaks up a marriage more than infidelity. Sigh ..

Arrogance Personified

That is Justice Secretary Leila De Lima appears to me and to others who are more knowledgeable than me in legal matters.

I have always believed the reason we have a Supreme Court is because when things or issues become muddy, the decision of the court is final. And executory. But here is Sec De Lima who refuses to abide by the rule. You have just made the Supreme Court a laughing stock. You've disrespected a great institution that this country looked up to especially in times of trouble. You are so mired in revenge and vindictiveness of PNoy that you have forgotten that justice is not only for the good. That seems to be the running theme of Pnoy's men: that they have monopoly of the good.

I am not a lawyer. But even so. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth to have our Supreme Court being treated like that. Truth be told, i've googled Sec De Lima to understand why she is the way she is now. She used to head the Commission on Human Rights and she has two sons.

What she is saying now is that no other opinion matter, not even that of the highest court of the land. Her opinion alone matters and that to me is arrogance in action.

By the way, i want to see justice done. If the arroyo's are guilty, then please charge them in court. But do not restrict anybody's right to travel in the guise of national security. Enough said. Ugghh

Tangled

Not really. Been searching for the right word to describe the predicament, we are in. All i can think is the visayan "hasul". Really. Can't say anything about it yet. It feels like everything is magnified when it's written already. Not that anybody is gonna read about it. It's not as if i have even one avid reader. Oh wait, i do. Me. He he

Hhaaahh. I feel like taking a deep breath and exhaling that word in a long time now. It's nearing a year and this transaction is nowhere near completion. I'm crossing my fingers. God Almighty, you lead us to this property and You have always been generous. Please help us resolve this problem to the satisfaction of all parties involved. Amen.

Why so many aches?

Back to waking up at unholy hours of the night or morning. Partly because I kept on hearing Maggie suck on her thumb. And then am back to my fears. Why the chestpains yesterday early morning when i was about to get up on my right side? Why the stiff neck these past few months? I have chronic hyperacidity, my uric acid is not normal and i feel muscle twitches everywhere. Is it the food I am eating?
Could it be stress from unconcious thought about the fact that i may be without job in the coming months? From this problematic property that we are buying?
Or from the sedentary lifestyle?

You just turned 40 not 60. So stop these aches. Move.

Crippling Fear, Shyness

Yesterday, I prepared an envelope as mass offering for the dead. I wanted to be the one to offer it during the mass but the church was crowded and with me are my girls who i know will likely go with me during the procession and besides I will be carrying Maggie who is probably around 17 lbs already. So i gave the envelop to my aunt. But when the time came, she just puy it in the collection basket. I must admit, i was really very angry, I feel like shouting at her. It felt like my prayers for the dead came to nothing because it went to the collection basket. Unreasonable, I know since God is a great God and He would understand each and every little thoughts behind our action. I willed myself to let go of my angry feelings, after all we were attending church and thank God my anger disappears slowly that when we reached home, it no longer bothered me.

She said that she didn't go with the rest of those who offered during the mass because, she didn't see anyone who was holding envelop offerings for the dead. Why would that stop her? Is there a church doctrine that prohibits offering prayers for the dead during the offertory? If there is, my fault. But yesterday, i just thougth her actions resulted from shyness or fear of ridicule or admonition. And i shouldn't blame her because I'm sure nobody wanted to be like that, painfully fearful. I don't blame my grandparents for her upbringing, others have much more emotional baggage than that. Besides, they are wonderful grandparents to me. I just needed to point out how much of elife we are missing if we allow it to get hold of us. My aunt is a college graduate. She could have applied for a job, work on her own but she chose to work on the family business, didn't get marry and it's not for shortage of suitors. She talks of Lola having a nervous breakdown sometime in their distant past, maybe she also suffered one just that nobody wad aware of it. I think that she has too much fear in her, crippling her.

I have that also. Fearful thoughts, fear creeps into my head especially at night or dawn waking up thinking. Sometimes, i am so burdened by my fears, i forgot that being alive each day is a wonderful gift already. And so i struggle, everyday to overcome my fears. So help me God.

Handywoman

So it's 2am and i got up to pee and noticed that the pipes were vibrating due to strong water pressure. Indeed, the pressure's too strong that it made our outside faucet come off and spouted water into the bahaykubo thus temporarily flooding the area.

That's the trouble of not knowing where to turn the water off. Thankfully, i possessed enough sense of turning off the water supply at the main line near the water meter. And to think i was apprehensive of opening the gate because you can never trust to open your gates at unholy hours. You never know of bad elements lurking out there. Yeah, like robbers, etc. But i didn't have a choice because the water meter is outside our gate. Thankfully, there seems to be nobody around. Well, there was these 2 motorcycles ridden by 2 teens riding in tandem that passed by after we already closed the gate. Whew, thank God.

Anyway, i will be buying that thingy that will permanently shut the excess faucet outside that bursted out. And i'll probably the one to do the attaching myself. At any rate, i am just glad that our little problem is caused by an abundance of water instead of the lack of it.

I actually am getting to be a handywoman. Which reminds me, i need to take the car for an oil change or whatever it is that fixes dark smoke coming out of the tailpipe.

Kim Kardashian Divorce

Whew...after only about 72 days of marriage. Methinks, the marriage is just part of their show. They supposedly earn close to 20M with regards to their wedding ceremony. They certainly know how to profit from their looks!