Everything in Perspective...

Is there a study on how many couples stay married albeit unhappy for whatever reasons? I found none. Instead, my search led me to a catholic education website which lists in details why marriage is good for you. That article instead provided the latest data on the percentage of unhappy marriages that remained unhappy even after sticking it out. Accordingly, data show that within five years, just 12 percent of very unhappily married couples who stick it out are still unhappy; 70 percent of the unhappiest couples now describe their marriage as "very" or "quite" happy. Is this something to hope for?

Sometimes i think that it's indeed true that we have been raised with unrealistic expectations with regards to relationships in general and marriage in particular.  If in our growing up years, we didn't know anything about princesses that needed rescuing, knights in shining whatever, and happy-ever-after endings we would fare better as adults.  We would see our partners as faulty individuals who have minds and wants and needs of their own different from ours.  That it's okay for couples to have differences and fight about those differences.  And hopefully make up without lingering resentments.

Really, i'm at a loss here. I don't know what to do.  But does someone ever really knows? When confronted with situations that could potentially change you and children's future and emotional states? Does it ever gets any easier. I am full of questions and I sure could use some wisdom here.  Do not even mention love.  It get's messier.  If love is absent, it should not be this painful right? I suppose, it is much harder when you are at the crossroads. If one has taken the leap, then all one has to do is worry about the next bend not anymore of what's left behind.

But then, i should really view things from every perspective.  I should constantly remind myself of the happy times when the unhappy moments come visiting. I should patiently look and appreciate the minutest of effort he expends for us to stay together. Employ selective amnesia on the heated words exchange in moments of anger, otherwise there is no chance for peaceful coexistence and love to grow.  Patience is a virtue, I know. It seems, both of us could benefit from patience. I am mumbling. What's clear though is that i have become my own therapist.  Whether i can do it or not , either way I am right.  And not too long ago, I have already decided that I am in this for the long haul.  The ball is on the other court now.  If and when this family breaks, it will not be my call.

So much for dark thoughts, here's Maggie Gallagher's Top Ten Reasons Why Marriage is Good For You (click this link for a more exhaustive explanation):

10.  It's safer

9.    It can save your life.

8.    It can save your kid's life.

7.    You will earn more money.

6.   You'll get much richer

5.    You'll tame his cheatin' heart(hers too)

4.    You won't go bonkers

3.    It will make you happy

2.    Your kids will love you more

1.    You'll have better sex, more often.

Don't wanna end this article on a bad note so i'll qoute Maggie Gallager's parting shot.  She said "Just as good marriages go bad, bad marriages go good. And they have a better chance of doing so in a society that recognizes the value of marriage than one that sings the statistically dubious joys of divorce."

So work it...work on it...

*photos taken from holy kaw website

From my Inbox ..

It is Madness...

to hate all roses
because you got scratched with one thorn...

to give up on your dreams
because one didn't come true...

to lose faith in prayers
because one was not answered...

to give up on your efforts
because one of them failed...

to condemn all your friends
because one betrayed you..

not to believe in love
because someone was unfaithful or didn't love you back..

to throw away all your chances to be happy
because you did not succeed on the first attempt...

Don't give in to madness

====

thanks tonette for forwarding this.

New Toys

Am not normally the type to indulge on technology purchase right there and then. For one, gadgets usually are expensive and they need to be budgetted first unless there's a zero percent interest offer through credit cards. But this time, i have been influenced by my techie officemates that these babies give value for money.

Going out of towns on weekends is a luxury we can only indulge every once in a while.  Being a family of seven including the two yayas, it is mighty expensive for us to do it on a weekly basis however much we want to. Heck, even just going to the mall with the kids and the yaya in tow is already a drain for us.  So in buying these gadgets, i was really able to save at the same time make use of the internet to download high quality movies  so that we need not leave the house on weekends.

This is an hdmi cable.  I am not geeky so i won't be able to give you technical specifications.  Suffice it to say that when you watch high definition movies, this one will really make it worth your while.  Normally when you watch animations or movies not design for the big screen, the images become pixelated, meaning you will see the squares on the images.  With this hdmi cable, you won't see them.  You will be able to watch nemo in all his orange unpixelated glory!

This red baby is a 500 gb external drive which costs around 3.5k.  The girls are having a ball watching all the barbie movies, disney and pixar animations i was able to download because everything fits in here with lotsa space for the tv series that i am watching at the moment as well as the hd quality adult movies.

This one is the thing that allows every type of media to be played directly straight from being downloaded from the internet without need of having to convert. It is a media player by western digital. All in all, this purchase sets me back for about 10k.

Together with your lcd tv, who needs the big screen when you can watch picture perfect movies in the confines of your home right? All we've got to do is load up on snacks and save up for that next out-of-town vacation!

Momentous Occassion

When i went home yesterday around 830 pm, the husband was already home.  According to the yaya, he was home already before 6pm.  A momentous occasion indeed! Here's wishing, he will be home earlier now than his usual. I'm crossing my fingers...

Men like it hot!

I don't get this. We raise our daughters to be modest and yet men prefer the sexy ones, those that show off more skin than what is modest by filipino standards and label them hot.  Apparently, our bachelor president is the same.  No offense meant to all sexy ladies ha, i do think that every woman wants to be sexy.  I just don't get it perhaps because I am not a man.

 Is this Barbie Palagos who was supposedly the President's date?

While it maybe true that he has the pick of the litter since he is still single, he should have been more considerate towards the feelings of her former girlfriend and her family.  As it is right now, to be seen in public to dating supposedly one Barbie Palagos is such a public renunciation of her relationship with the beautiful  and smart Shalani Soledad.  He could just invite Barbie Palagos for dinner at malacanang, then maybe after a period of time when everybody has accepted her break up with Shalani then that will be the time that he can parade his new conquest in public.  If Noynoy is used to the scandals caused by his sister Kris Aquino, then he should have spared Shalani's who seems to be a very nice and private person.  I can just imagine what Shalani goes through during council meetings.  Everybody will be whispering, giving her pitying looks.  It is such an unkind act for President Noy and for once, i regretted having endorsed him.  Not that my single vote would matter.  But there may be others who are feeling the same way that i do. Truly.  I figured if you can't spare your ex-girlfriend with kindness, you would probably be not my kind of president. I think he will have a backlash of public opinion especially coming from the women population.

He is an old bachelor who does not seem able to hold on to a relationship although there were many women linked to him in the past like korina sanchez, bernadette sembrano, diana zubiri, barbara milano.  Even now certain names have risen linking him to Patricia Ann Roque and Liz Uy who is said to be personally liked by Kris Aquino. But some of these are just conjectures.  Really,  I guess without Cory Aquino telling him, he probably was just excited to date once again and discarded Shalani.  Me thinks, he no longer had feelings for Shalani even before the election but it would not help him win if he breaks up with Shalani who seemed to be favored and loved by the public.

Oh well, to each his own.

My phone is starting to give up on me..

Just last sunday evening, i found out that my phone's speaker doesn't work anymore and so does the camera.  I can still use it to call and be called if it is attached to the headset so it really is still usable but i have no camera to capture those bloggable moments.

It's a pity because i really like my phone, the samsung s7330.  It takes clear enough pictures and i have had no complaints so far with regards to reception and internet connection.  In fact, it's my main tool for taking photos and updating my social network accounts and so it really is more than a phone to me.  I am thinking of having it repaired.  However, if it's beyond repair i already have mobile prospects in mind. Or i can choose to stick with it and just buy  a cheaper digital camera that works underwater.  Which do you think is a better option?

 Hubby has a blackberry courtesy of his employer and hsbc has a 0% installment plan for it but I am not so inclined to get one.  If i get this prepaid, it costs less than P 14,000. Ouch!

This beauty from my!phone is dual sim and costs only PhP 5,990 and is feature-packed.  Infact it claims to do what blackberry does in a cheaper manner.  I like this one better if only it comes in red. It boasts of a 3.2 megapixel camera, bluetooth connectivity, and wifi.  What else would you need? 

But really i have been itching to buy an underwater camera for sometime.  Not that, i have any plans of scuba diving soon.  My children are mermaids.  Abby particularly, sometimes wears her pink necklace, touches it and says " I want to be human." During our ferry boat rides from liloan ,leyte to lipata, surigao city when we were sailing beneath the stars and i told them to make a wish because i saw a shooting star, they wished that they become mermaids.  And i told them to shut up( He he).  Good parenting huh?! Seriously, they take to water like ducks. If it were upto me, i would spend every other weekend near a body of water just so they would really swim and play to their hearts content.  So an underwater camera would really be a dream right?

According to Kyle Schurman of About.com, the G5WP includes 12.2 megapixels of resolution, a 4X optical zoom lens, a 2.7-inch LCD, and the ability to shoot video at a limited resolution. The G5WP measures only 0.8 inches in thickness, and its lens does not extend outside the camera body. With an expected price of about $180, which is about the same price shown in SM Appliance cemter, the G5WP is one of the least expensive waterproof point and shoot cameras you'll find. The G5WP is available in three stylish colors: Graphite gray, ocean blue, and raspberry red.

Of Yayas..

Ever since I gave birth to my eldest child AJ, there have been nine yayas in our household excluding the two that we currently have now.

This is michelle montenegro, she has been with us for more than a year and she is very capable, kind, intelligent and doesn't need much supervision.  But she left abruptly with Yaya Merlyn who has been with us for only 3 months.  I suppose, they do not like to be saddled with an additional baby to watch over.  I can understand that. But to leave us with unkind words? Ha, i am not such a good judge of character.

Yaya Grethel is liked by Abby but hated by AJ.  Abby likes those who conforms to all her whims.  AJ dislikes her because she can't watch her favorite shows on cartoon network and disney because Yaya Grethel likes to watch willie's wowowee.  And she has a tendency to spank AJ even when i already told her not to lay a hand on the kids and leave the disciplining to me.

They go with us whereever we go, they sleep in hotel rooms and in proper hotel beds whenever we go out of towns.  They eat what we eat. We send them to the dentists and OB-Gyne when they complaint of pain, free because that is what we are.  We treat them with kindness, hoping that they would also treat the kids and us kindly and faithfully and because that is the Christian thing to do.  And yet...

These are the yaya's who left without honoring the verbal condition that they give us one-month notice when they no longer want to work with us.  Regardless of the plance fare, i spent for them coming to Manila.  I think, I am a generous employer and understanding too. And they seem happy too, and yet one wonders.

This is Yaya Jhoanne Teopiz.  I am reserving my assessment of her. She's a more open person, a bit loud but i think what she lacks in knowledge she makes up for in kindness. Hopefully. No one is perfect after all.

I do understand that these kind of jobs are merely transitory considering the meager salary that they are receiving compared to the responsibility that goes with the job and the emotional investments on both our sides.  So when any of them tells us that they want to leave already, there really is nothing we can do except to ask them to respect our agreement that they give us one-month notice in advance.  They leave for different reasons, some pregnant, or going to school, or they had saved enough for business.  It's commendable for them to aspire for a better life and i encouraged them in that direction.  We never hold on to them, not that we can.  Most leave with kind words for us, but there are those who just leave and invent stories regardless of the kindness we have extended to them. I don't waste my time anymore with that kind of people. So yeah, they are important to me but i can also managed without them.

Ferry boats: Matnog, Sorsogon to Allen, Samar

We enjoyed the ferry boat ride from Matnog, Sorsogon to Dapdap port in Allen Samar primarily because it is a short ride less than two hours and it's breezy out there in the deck.  The kids have a grand time watching the kids who will swim for coins. 

 The kids are still in their pajamas because we left the night before at past 10pm so they were in their sleeping attires.  I also wanted them to travel comfortably but shortly after taking this picture , i already had them changed to their day-time casuals.

We took our bath at Calbayog, Samar already because there was plenty of water and clean wash room. We only have to pay 20 pesos per person for taking a bath. 

Short Stop: Mayon Volcano, Daraga, Albay

We left manila past 10 pm of September 22 and so we were fortunate to see Mayon's perfect cone early in the morning unhampered by clouds.  We stopped by the road side just to take photos of the great mayon inside our vehicle.

Even with countless eruptions, the great mayon still retains it's perfect cone-shaped.  How's that? We truly has a great God, creator of small and mightly things.

Overnight Stop: Zamboanga City

Our visit to Zamboanga is two-fold, to visit hubby's siblings who lives there and for hubby to attend a reunion at his school Zamboanga School of Fisheries, which is a maritime school. He spent his days and night with his batchmates while we stayed at his sister's house. I mainly spent the day tutoring AJ on her exams. We brought all her books with us but i can honestly say we only covered math and reading. Bad idea to bring books on vacation, it's never gonna work. Note to self, re-schedule vacation after kid's exam.

Anyway, later we lighted candles at Fort Pilar and enjoyed the breeze for a while at Paseo del Mar. There was a brief brown out in most parts of the city but thankfully, a relative of theirs invited us for dinner at Village Restaurant. The food was okay but the place is a good bonding place for families because of the playground. The kids enjoyed their stay thoroughly.

I would have wanted to visit the barter trades again but we did not have the time since we had a schedule to follow.

Downtown zamboanga has narrow streets and traffic is already horrendous. Lots of tricylce. I think the streets are even narrower than Iligan.